


You've Got the Body, I've Got the Alibi

by musical_stan_first_human_later



Series: Anne Squared [1]
Category: Six - Marlow/Moss
Genre: Mentioned violence, Mild Drunkenness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-05-12
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:00:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23677267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/musical_stan_first_human_later/pseuds/musical_stan_first_human_later
Summary: After a night out for drinks, Anne and Anna find themselves in a compromising situation.
Relationships: Anne Boleyn & Anne of Cleves
Series: Anne Squared [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1704940
Comments: 1
Kudos: 46





	You've Got the Body, I've Got the Alibi

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger Warnings: Mentioned violence, mild drunkenness

When Anne Squared decided to go out and get drinks together, they had no idea they’d end up with a dead body in their trunk. Okay, it wasn’t actually a dead body, and it was secured in the back seat, but Anne liked to hype up the drama internally. Cleves was in the driver’s seat staring straight ahead, her eyes glued to the road as she held the wheel in a death grip. “Anne, you better be coming up with a great excuse for what happened tonight, because Jane is not gonna be happy when she sees what you did.”

Craning her head around to the backseat in order to look at the body, Anne shrugged. “She can’t do anything if she doesn’t know it was us. If I get us an alpaca, will you bury the body?”

“One, no!” Cleves shouted, her face turning red, “and two, it’s alibi, not alpaca.”

“That’s exactly what I said.”

Cleves liked to think of herself as pretty laid back, but she was reaching the edge of her patience. “Anne, she’s not dead, so we’re not burying any bodies. Though _we_ might be dead if we don’t get her home before Jane realizes something’s wrong.”

Raising her arms in defense, Anne quieted down. “You don’t think she’ll remember this when she wakes up?”

“I think,” Cleves spoke carefully, “she’ll remember getting drunk because of you. I don’t think she’ll remember your… incident.”

Bluntly, Anne rephrased what Cleves said. “So she’ll wake up with a hangover and think that’s why her head hurts, not because I smashed a chair over her head.”

The car abruptly came to a stop, Anne jerking forward in her seat. Cleves turned the car off and unbuckled her seatbelt, opening her door and moving to the back. “I regret being the designated driver,” she lamented. Anne followed Cleves to the back of the car where they attempted to get the other queen out of the back. Anne put her hands under the queen’s armpits and heaved her out of the car, dropping her onto the concrete floor.

The impact made a smacking sound that made Anne cringe. “Ouch.”

Kneeling down next to the body, Cleves picked up the queen’s legs wheelbarrow style and motioned for Anne to grab her arms. Anne rolled her eyes but bent down to pick up the other half of the unconscious queen. Walking backwards was a bad idea for Anne who was still partially drunk. She opened the front door with her elbow and stumbled into the house, creating more noise than she should’ve for someone trying to keep a secret.

The lights flicked on, revealing Anne Squared and their unwitting baggage. Standing on the stairs next to the light switch was a frowning Cathy. Behind her stood a shocked Kat, her eyes dilated and unfocused. “What are you two doing?” Cathy asked.

“Well you see… it’s not what it looks like,” Anne chuckled.

Kat gasped at Anne’s nonchalance. “It looks like you _killed_ Aragon!”

“We didn’t,” Cleves quickly clarified.

“See! It’s not what it looks like!” Anne lifted her hand to fist bump Cleves, only for Aragon’s weight to become unbalanced, causing the body to go flopping to the floor. 

Cleves slapped Anne’s hand away when the girl shamelessly waited for the fist bump. “Anne!” Kat whisper-yelled, not wanting to wake Jane up. As bad as the situation already was, angering Jane was something none of the girls wanted to deal with.

“We’re accessories to your crime now, aren’t we,” Cathy sighed, moving down the stairs towards Aragon’s limp body.

Nodding frantically, Anne pointed down at Aragon. “Yes, yes you are. Now help us hide her.”

“Aragon’s not dead Anne!” Cleves cried.

“She might as well be, she’s not gonna move herself,” Anne grumbled.

Cathy waved Kat over and the two of them started inspecting Aragon. Lifting up one of her eyelids, Cathy was met with the whites of Aragon’s eyes. “So what happened to her?”

“She got drunk,” Cleves said at the same time Anne replied, “I hit her with a chair.” Slapping a hand to her forehead, Cleves shook Anne’s shoulders in frustration. “When you commit a crime, you do not sell yourself out.”

Frowning, Cathy piped up, “Actually, not doing that is illegal.”

“Not the point,” Cleves waved her off. “Anne, do you want Jane to make you do all the household chores for the next four months?”

Anne wrinkled her nose. “No.”

Giving Anne a pointed look, Cleves exhaled forcefully. “Then don’t let her find out.” There was practically a vein popping out of Anna’s forehead. She was under a lot of stress dealing with Anne’s antics and it was getting to her.

The first person to notice was Kat, as per usual. “Anna? Are you okay?” the teen asked, her voice quiet, the only one genuinely trying to make sure Jane wouldn’t wake up.

Rubbing her temple, the German queen nodded. “Yeah, yeah I’ll be fine Kat. Just too sober for all of this right now.”

Cathy nodded and shifted her position so she was standing behind Aragon with Cleves. “How about you and Kat go get ready for bed, and Anne and I’ll make sure Catherine’s safe.”

“Why me?” Anne complained.

“Because this is your mess, now help me pick her up,” Cathy lectured. Anne grumbled but did as she was told, helping Cathy carry the blacked out queen up to her room. 

That left Kat and Anna together in front of the still open front door. Kat stood up and closed the door before returning next to Anne. “I’m sorry about Anne, I know she’s a lot,” Kat offered.

“S’not your fault,” Anna mumbled. “I agreed to get drinks with her and Aragon. But I might have a killer headache tomorrow because of her. And unfortunately it won’t be the hangover kind.”

Wincing, Kat put her hand on Anna’s knee. “I’ll make sure none of them disturb you, it’s the least I can do to make up for Anne.”

Anna gave Kat a smile and slowly stood up. “Thanks Kat, I don’t deserve you.”

Waving the comment away, Kat replied, “None of that. Let’s just get to bed and deal with this in the morning.”

The two queens moved upstairs, ignoring the occasional grunt that sounded faintly like Anne, or the signature exasperated sighs of Cathy. It was a miracle Jane was still asleep when they quietly passed by her room. “Do you think we’ll get away with it?” Kat asked when they reached Anna’s room.

Shrugging, the German queen honestly had no answer. “Jane’s pretty clever, and she has almost a sixth sense for this sort of thing. And I don’t trust Anne not to go blabbing off. But Aragon shouldn’t remember anything, so I don’t know for sure.”

“Then we’ll face it together in the morning, won’t we,” Kat said.

“Yeah, yeah we will,” Anna confirmed. “Now get some sleep Kat.”

“Bye Anna, sleep well!”

Closing the door, Anna ran a hand through her hair before flopping onto her bed. “Let’s hope I can sleep at all.”

* * *

The next morning the four queens sat silently at the kitchen table, waiting for breakfast to be served by Jane. Jane was none the wiser, happily whistling a tune as she made pancakes. The four queens at the table were all silently holding their breaths, praying that she wouldn’t notice anything. Everything seemed to be going surprisingly well for them which was why they were all so on edge.

Setting out a plate of pancakes, Jane gave a bright smile that only furthered the girls’ guilt. “Why all the glum faces, the day’s just started,” Jane asked.

Before any of them could respond, a stumbling sound came from the stairs. Clutching her head as she made her way over to the queens, Aragon was clearly fighting through a bad headache. “Catherine, are you alright? Did you drink too much last night?” Jane questioned the oldest queen.

“No,” Catherine responded. “I don’t know why my head hurts so much, I wasn’t even drinking alcohol.”

Freezing in place, Cleves and Anne shared a look that could only be described as _oh shit_.

Wheeling around in place, Jane glared directly at the two main culprits. “Explain. Now.”

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on tumblr, @musical-stan-first-human-later for my full masterpost of fics.


End file.
